Memories of a Fifteen Years Old Girl

I’ve been raped.

It all began when I was fifteen, marking the turning point that completely upended my life. During that time, I was not ready to confront the experience, grappling with a jumble of memories and an overwhelming fear that my story would be met with disbelief. In Italy, sexual harassment remains deeply entrenched as a taboo subject, seldom discussed openly. Instead, the prevailing response is to bury such incidents and maintain a facade of normalcy. Throughout my teenage years, I yearned for an open conversation, longing for someone who could provide support even when I struggled to articulate my need for help.

Now, at the age of twenty-four, ten years after the traumatic event, and after undergoing extensive therapy, I have mustered the courage to share my story and become the kind of person I wished I had during that challenging period. The driving force behind my project is to create a resonant work that speaks to teenagers and adults who grapple with expressing or even acknowledging the impact of their own traumatic experiences. My aim is to offer them a glimmer of hope and support to kick-start their healing process.

In my piece, a dance and spoken word performance, I delve into the evolution of my complicated relationship with my body in the aftermath of this traumatic event. This project aligns deeply with my artistic research, providing a platform to examine and transform my everyday behaviors, postures, and gestures. Through this exploration, I have gained a fresh perspective on my healing journey, discovering a renewed sense of ease within my own body. Moreover, this project signifies a momentous stride in my path of recovery, as it empowers me to shed light on what happened and dismantle the long-standing taboo that has cast a profound shadow over my life for the past decade.

"A beautiful

Delicate

Little flower

- this is what i am.

As girls we are lovely

- but in a fragile way.

Young girls must stay weightless as air

To be handled with delicate care

Yet, fragile like porcelain

To fragment beyond repair.

Our true worth lives in the space between our thighs,

In the ability of being polite,

And in our way of being aware when silence is due

And cleverly knowing when to stay quiet, whatever we do.

Our strength has the texture of

latex and glitter,

And it smells of a pungent mixture

Of pepper spray

And rose water.

Good girls don’t punch, don’t spit

And when we are angry,

We are never angry.

We are the calmest species in the world.

How could you disagree with this?"